Melissa Evers

The Beauty

Al Goldstein

Super Sausage

Ronnie Love

Neanderthal Man

Erica Eaton

Miss Crabtree

Honeysuckle Divine

Herself

Jim Buckley

The Narrator

Darby Lloyd Rains

Worried Mother

Jody Maxwell

Split Beaver / Singing Cocksucker from Missouri

Marc Stevens

Screw Newsstand Vendor

Helen Madigan

Victorian Lady /Modern Woman

Eric Edwards

Victorian Gentleman /Modern Man

David Buckley

2nd Man to Pick Up Woman /Customer on Couch /N.Y. Times Purchaser